Slow
Summer Times
Fleeting Feelings
It's finally warm out after what's felt like half a year of winter in Chicago. We had another random visit from the Galactic Ambassador, but what was special about today is that we found out he worked at the same place as our drummer! There is a saying that goes "it's a small world" and I never suspected those 2 would actually know each other. I really wanna play out with our multi-instrumentalist friend and I've been continually hitting up venues but with it really feels like taking shots at the dark sometimes. I definitely want to invite our friends and the new hot singer to a show with us but music hasn't been at the top of my list of priorities lately.
I'm working with the house-builders right now but seeing what other jobs I can do in the meantime. Maybe I'll work for the plumber I met over at the liquor store today or hit up another old boss like the one I was roofing for a few years ago. My Polish mentor has been quiet lately but I figure that's just because he's out of the country. Since last year I ended up doing a night shift at a museum with him but my gut tells me that job did not go as planned. As for this week I'm looking hoping the house-builders take me on a Michigan job later this week and forward to an interview tomorrow with my dream company.
I've been gaming over the past few days with the remake of an RPG and I want to get back into working on some of my side-projects. I figure that in order to make a great game maybe I need to experience one for myself, since 2 of the app projects are going to be focused on that audience. The new app I'm working on is supposed to be gamified therapy and the old one I released last year has a roleplaying system that needs to be fleshed out better. Both are going to use AI and I'm doing my best to figure out how to customize models and get them running locally on-device. The other projects I have use C, C++, and Flutter: I'd like to incorporate into an audio-visualizer, a tool to make abstract visuals, and maybe even full-blown game creation. It's a lot on my plate I'm trying to get done this summer and I know I've got to push it but I know I shouldn't be too hard on myself either.
Weekend Visit
The Galactic Ambassador dropped off some bud at our house today which was a pleasant surprise considering you never know when he's going to show up. In other good news I've been making good progress on the new app I'm building, although I'd wish I'd made as much progress on some of the other projects I'm working on. I definitely want to do more with artificial intelligence, gaming, and blending visual effects with audio pipelines and multi-media encoding. Historically my problem has always been spreading myself too thin but luckily I have some good people to call on for advice, including my dungeon master, my business partner overseas, and a lady I'll be seeing next month who made her own AI app that reminds me of what I'm making.
Since I'm working 40 hour weeks now between construction jobs I told my roommate we need to save up next month for a trip to California. I was supposed to be going with my house-builder friends to Michigan this week but since they're not taking me I'm working with the roofers instead, so I'm glad at least I have that flexibility. The only reason I'll be able to afford a conference next month at all is because I'm renting my garage out to my upstairs neighbor. My plan is to begin in LA and drive up to San Francisco while taking in the breathtaking views and meeting up with friends along the way.
I jammed with our female jazz drummer very recently and I'm hoping I can get another show lined up for us soon, but unfortunately I've had as much luck with booking gigs this summer as with the tech job search. As frustrating as it is I got to keep showing up to places in person and sending emails until something lands. If I had the budget to hire a promoter or band manager or gladly would and eventually I wanna run paid ads for the band and the business, but I've got to take things one step at a time. Even though I'm off to a slow start this summer, next month is definitely gonna be an epic trip to California!
My Last Dollar
Spent my last dollar on gas and a candy bar without even enough left over for a cup of coffee, which the attendant at the station gave me for free. I guess 78 cents in the bank still isn't zero but I'm hoping to get money real soon from my roommate, my old bosses, and the roofing job I'm doing day-to-day. I called up my flooring mentor who still owes me a bit and told him I'm still available one or two days a week since. I'd much rather be working for him and my house builder friends but I need enough to pay the bills and save the rest if I can.
I might finally concede after 2.5 years and finally change the band name, because if we want to blow up online Mayn Ingredient sounds too similar to the band that was super popular in the 70's. I have my company name tattooed on my arm so I'm very stubborn when it comes to renaming things, but in this case it would be nice to at least come up with phrasing that's in the same ballpark. The chicks liked the name a lot and I can't wait to meet more in California next month since me and my guitarist are gonna be there! I was gonna get the cheapest conference passes for us and he really wanted to jam out and take our instruments with us. In the meantime there's a bar super close to my dad's that we might perform at and split the payment 3 ways. If one thing being broke teaches you it's how to get creative with ways to make money and I know people will be flocking to see us since they have a stage outdoors.
I had a really good consulting session with my dungeon master regarding some of the technical projects. As a lone wolf your gonna hit the wall eventually and I'm always juggling between several programming projects anyway. We settled on improved mechanics for a card-based roleplaying system, audio visualizing capabilities for the rendering software, and a really good clue on what to do for the "council of therapists" app I was stuck on. I know that in order to be successful I'm gonna need good people around me and I think we hit a home run with the productivity app
Dodging Uncertainty
I woke up yesterday thinking I couldn't go to work because I had no gas money, but luckily my Polish boss sent me the money I was due from working a night shift flooring in a museum. That’s one down and 3 more to go since I'm still expecting money from the roofers, my house-builder friends, and my roommate. With my work situation being so uncertain I might end up hitting up my lighting boss and a plumber I met at a liquor store for work, but I'm also expecting another call for a potential tech position in about 30 minutes. If it doesn't work out I'll keep going through my contacts and former recruiters I've worked with.
We had the Galactic Ambassador jam with us on drums and surprisingly he wasn't half bad. Our multi-instrumentalist friend alternated between keyboard, guitar and sax while our young friend was able to keep up. It looks like we are going to miss out on our window to play this month but I think we can make up for it if we can book a show and then go out to California late next month. Our buddy Marcus is planning to come with us and bring his camera so I know we are gonna get some epic shots along the road from LA to San Francisco.
I went out with my friend to a concert in the city recently and it was literally just a guy singing over a backing track, so I know our group would fair a lot better. My friends boyfriend apparently has been in county jail since April after attempting to run from the cops before pulling his pickup truck to a strangers property. Don't know where I'd be without my current roommate but I may have had a fate similar to that considering the things I'd done in my past. My old alcoholic roommate sent a LinkedIn request yesterday, which is strange considering I kicked his ass before making him leave the apartment. Me and my current friend try to watch our alcohol too because we also played music together and have gotten carried away in the past, but if there's anything important to watch for in life it's that moderation is key.
Bracing Myself
It's been a struggle to line up consistent work lately and I've pretty much been hitting up my bosses in the past. Every time I thought I'd be getting something more consistent it hasn't worked out: like the flooring job at the museum that was supposed to go on longer, when I thought I'd be going to Michigan with the house-builders, and more recently when I thought could finally get full weeks with the roofers. I don't think the music gigs or the tech job search is faring any better but in the meantime I guess I'll just focus on my website, rendering experiments, and ongoing app projects.
I wasn't ready for the Galactic Ambassador to come over today, although I'll never say no to a free blunt and free food. As much as I like having him around he does tend to act like a puppy sometimes and not mind himself. We might be seeing him again tomorrow at rehearsal so I'm glad he was able to keep up during our last jam which he managed to record some part of. I'm still a little hesitant to bring him to a show with us but I'm not discounting the possibility outright, we'll just have to see where things go.
Excited for my trip next month and I ended up texting the chick who introduced me to my dream girl in California. I figured my odds of seeing the woman I want will improve if we meet up as a group first since I'm bringing 2 friends along with me. The only reason I can afford the trip in the first place is because my neighbor rented my garage out until spring for 1200$ so at-least I'm not as broke as I thought I'd be. I did get hit up by the house-builder bosses son just now so I'm glad I'll be working again tomorrow despite the weather being 100 degrees outside. I'm just gonna have to power through it and brace myself for the long day ahead tomorrow.
Independence Day
My friend decided to do a spontaneous visit to the Michigan border to pick up fireworks for the 4th of July. I thought we were gonna be stopping by Indy too so I hit up this really hot bartender friend who was hitting on me the day we met up out there; even if it doesn't work out this time I really hope I can see her again someday. My roommate ended up tagging along too so we could pick up a quarter pound of weed for just 60$ since the price was much cheaper out-of-state. I can honestly say that I'd never bought so much marijuana for so cheap in my life!
I'm looking forward to celebrating the 4th with my dungeon master who's doing a BBQ closer to the city, but with storm clouds congregating outside it seems like no-one is really gonna be lighting fireworks today. I tried inviting my other friend who introduced me to my guitarist 3 years ago at an open mic event but apparently the lady was giving him trouble this evening.
I remember celebrating the 4th of July with him and his girlfriend like 2 years ago. Although it was fun and I actually got to watch the fireworks outside, I probably ended up having the worst high of my life since it was way too much stimulus to handle in the room: the trailer park home was messy, my friend was playing loud music on the porch talking about becoming a pirate, and his girlfriend had too many shrooms so she was screaming at us while Family Guy blasted in the background! Last year I'd say the 4th of July was even better since I went camping and boating with the family. But with the craziness that's gone on in my life since then I'd definitely prefer a boring, rainy 4th of July over an exciting one.
Downers Grove Date
Since I haven't had a stable source of income lately I finally managed to find another roofing crew through an ad that showed up on my Instagram feed. I've been working 10 hour days with them which is a lot when your in the hot sun moving 100 pounds up ladders! Ive worked with all-Polish crews and all-Mexican but it's rare to see a mix of both, and even if I don't make any friends there at least I'm hoping I'll get good pay. So far I'm owed money by 2 roofing companies, my roommate, as well as the house-builders and one of their clients. If I can get money from all of them before my flight in 10 days I'll have enough for my conference trip to Cali, so fingers crossed.
I ended up calling my super hot DJ friend who I knew was close to the jobsite I’d be working at. I've been friends with her for awhile and wanted to hook up since we met, so I'm glad we finally get to go out together. Honestly I was pretty tired after working in the sun all day but we still had an amazing chat about the recent events of my life. She got me food and drinks and agreed to meet up again with me and my girlfriends hopefully next week before my trip. I wish the night could have lasted longer but there were literally no good movies in theaters and all I wanted to do was smoke and knock out before work at 7am.
Although I haven't had much luck with the job search any more than I have booking gigs lately, today took an interesting turn: somebody I spoke to half a year ago reached out regarding a new role mobile developer role in the Bay area and another recruiter I just thought to be an Indian scammer apparently set me up with a technical interview at Google! It's still a little hard to believe. I feel like some of my best ideas have stemmed from being broke and with the help of AI tools I can produce or rewrite code at a much faster pace than before. From the texturing tool supporting CUDA-accelerated encoding of image, to my graphics engine supporting audio playback and analysis, to the 3 ongoing Flutter projects I'm making into consumer apps, I definitely think I can make good progress if I put my mind to it. Just got to remember my end goal is my own business and financial freedom.
The Dugout
Last night things took a turn for the worst when my roommate was jamming with us after a full day of drinking. The rehearsal was fine, he walked off stage halfway through our performance at the open mic even though we'd just practiced the songs, and the worst was when we got home and got into an angry drunk tantrum. When I had enough I got up to confront him and only threw the left hook when he pushed me backwards. I was lucky my two friends where on the porch with us to break up the fight, otherwise things would have likely turned into a crime scene and I'd be on the run right now.
I know the anger wasn't just aimed towards me because he was going off at the Galactic Ambassador too even though his drumming was totally on point tonight. I had a gut feeling earlier that day that things would go south when I saw alcohol in the room despite my rule to drink outside and later when my roommate refused to wear a shirt before getting in the car with me. I've seen him go off on our multi-instrumentalist bandmate and my dungeon master friend before, so in the back of my mind I always knew it would be my turn. I'm the kind of guy who puts up with shit for a very long time but when I eventually snap, it's always been ugly. Thank god it didn’t get any worse than it did last night
A few days ago I dug out 5 holes for 80$ to plant bushes for the house-builders and am following up with my roofing bosses about work in the coming weeks. If things are over with my roommate it's gonna be a struggle to make rent next month but I'm gonna have to find a way to make it work. I was considering cancelling my trip next week to California because I can't really afford to spend money right now but I know the connections might lead me to my next big career opportunity. Among the people I'll be meeting will be a CTO, the professor who invented "Perlin noise", and another chick who's building an AI app just like I am! This trip is just too good to pass up but I hope at the end of it I can be reunited with the girl of my dreams.
Shingled Out
About to do an estimate and roofing repair for someone, even though I'm not used to doing this kind of thing really. Went to the attic which felt like going into an oven at 120 degrees, then took some pictures on the roof before hitting up my friend who's got all the ladders, tools, and materials. Even though we will probably only get 150$ a pop, the clients son works at a microphone company I'd be really happy if I got into. Works been inconsistent lately but I'm hoping I'll at-least have something to fall back on next month and that everything works out.
2 days after our fight we made peace with my roommate so I guess now I have a history of beating up alcoholics now. His eye got pretty bruised and I've got a minor scratch running down my neck but I told him that lowkey it looked badass. Not sure how this is going to influence the dynamic of the band and if we are all still ok to do the Cali trip next week, but it sure was funny when someone said "I heard you were a champion" the next morning!
As far as the trip though I am glad that I got a response from my dream girl in San Fransico, even if it was just that she was too busy to take a call. At the very least she isn't ignoring my messages and there's a better chance she'll show if her girlfriend and one of mine meet my friends all together.
I'm trying to get my tech stuff in to a presentable state before the conference and I've even got some matching shirts for my guys to promote the business. I know that the trip is going to be one of the most memorable in my life and I'm also hoping this converts into a business or job opportunity for me! After you've been broke for a while you learn to seek opportunities as you go, whether it be networking in tech, paying gigs in music, or random construction gigs. You never know how things are going to go so you need to be vigilant and seek out opportunities as you go.
Monkey in the Middle
Just 2 days after I gave my roommate a black eye, him and the other homie I'm taking to Cali (who's currently cleaning up the crib) decide to get into a fight. The timing couldn't be any worse because we fly out tomorrow! You can see in the recording I captured that I literally had to pick up my friend and turn him around before things got violent and the 3 other guys there finished breaking it up. I know that if shit breaks out when we travel its gonna turn into a 2 versus 1 real quick because I won't be able to break it up alone. I'll probably end up siding with the roommate who pays me and is also one of my bandmates and closest friends. Unfortunately he's also the only person I know to go around talking shit and pissing off everyone after just getting beat up!
Feel like I need to get my head straight before this conference since I've got a lot on my mind: between the inconsistent construction work, technical projects, and trying to take music more seriously there's a lot to figure out. I already arranged to do a job when I get back by patching a roof leak from the attic while my friend goes from above; we might not earn much but the clients son works for the biggest microphone company in the US and they hire software engineers from time to time. I'm also trying to get some app demos ready to show off on the West Coast and polish up my website to look more legit. I even got matching shirts for my friends to make it look like they work for me, but I just hope people don't get suspicious that I beat up my employees if one shows up with a black eye.
I went out to hang with some girlfriends to get out of the house because I needed to get away from all the testosterone and egos clashing. When I came back 2 Latina chicks I just met ended up giving me some of the strongest weed I'd smoked in a long while and I showed them some of our music. They liked the reggae stuff the most but I told them after being in the band for nearly 3 years I feel like now we are going in circles and having too much fun instead of refining the good material that's already there. My guitarist is all talent and no discipline while our multi-instrumentalist buddy is all talent and no drive, so I definitely have to step up if we are ever going to get serious. I wanted to get a studio version of one of our songs down before the trip, but I haven't even gotten the recordings from our last jam session. The new rule is going to be every song needs to be on a list with a name, we need a set rehearsal time once or twice a week, and obviously no alcohol because I'm tired of this half-ass approach. I want to be able to get in 20-30 songs in with a few covers so we can actually book paying gigs within only a week or two notice. The only one I'm proud of is our new drummer who I just sent all our jam videos from the past 3 years to curate and pick out the best clips to promote our music starting with SoundCloud before other platforms.
I've got to step up my game to succeed and lead the group if I have to, because I know we've all still got a long way to go.